A message board for all things anal! welcome to the Proctology Anonymous Board. Here, some things are just too painful to share without anonymity. [Case 1] I applied for a sports massage position, thinking it was a normal job. But when I showed up, they gave me a scrap of fabric that couldn’t even pass for a uniform… and told me to massage between someone’s legs. Can a famous soccer player really get away with this kind of behavior? And what’s up with the three-person session when I was told it’d be one-on-one? Isn’t that false advertising? [Case 2] My best friend is perfect, handsome, smart, the whole package. Can you believe someone like that even wants to be friends with me? He’s always looking out for me, teaching me things, and guiding me like a true friend. And of course, like all best friends do, he opened me up on the night of my sexual awakening. I’ll never forget how special it was. What? You’re saying best friends don’t do that sort of thing? [Case 3] Everyone’s always whining about how hard it is... but honestly, getting fucked from behind is the best. As soon as I got some seniority in the army, I started hooking up with my juniors. It took some effort, sure, but I made it work. There was one guy in particular who tasted amazing. I told him a snake bit me on the dick... and that the venom had to be sucked out with his mouth. [Case 4] Has anyone here ever done it with a future in-law at the first family meeting? It wasn’t my intention at all, but somehow we ended up hooking up in the bathroom. And now, I can’t stop thinking about his face. I ended up showing up at his place with a bouquet. Seeing him again made everything worse... in the best way. But he didn’t even remember me. I totally lost it and made a fool of myself... and then I crossed a line. This time, I was ready to confess my feelings and imagine a future together. But can you believe it? Turns out there’s another version of him.